Monday, August 10, 2020

And So...(Joe's Hardware Store is Fucked)

And so…

of all the god dam

universal possibilities

we could be expected to endure


we are now eight months into 

a global pandemic

that no one saw coming

except, of course

the people whose job it is 

to see these things coming

but, of course 

when they told us about it

we thought “not me”


and we didn’t listen to them

and when we finally did 

we quickly realized 

that they were making shit up as they went along

because they were as completely baffled 

as we were on what to do.

And so…

we then learned that 

Safeway would deliver 


and BevMo 

would deliver


and the local dispensary 

would delivery 

cannabis in a dizzying variety of functions and flavors

and The Feds 

would delivery 

an extra $600 every week

to help pay for all your pizza, 


and cannabis

and that we were now exempt from

getting off the couch and ironing a shirt 

and putting on long pants

to go make chit-chat

as all boring social functions 

had been canceled 

and we began to think

perhaps this won’t be so bad 

after all.

And so…

the extra $600 has kept Safeway in business and

BevMo with customers and 

the cannabis dispensaries afloat, but

Joe’s Hardware Store 



because his customers are now more

fat, stoned, and drunk than ever before

sitting on their couches realizing


that everything they need 

will come right to their door 


that leaky toilet 

can run


Ken Owen     Van Niddy Press

August 2020

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