Tuesday, June 23, 2020

The Doomsday Stockpile

Go ahead,
admit it:

every time you
go to the pantry
or hall closet
or check under the bathroom sink
or wherever it is that you keep it

you feel slightly embarrassed

by the ridiculous supply of
toilet paper
you have accumulated 
over the last three months

when they told you
the world
as we knew it 
was ending

and The Hive Mind declared
toilet paper 
of all things
as the one commodity
that would determine our future happiness
in the new world.

But you quickly reconcile the guilt
as you survey your
doomsday stockpile
with the story that your supplies 
are a personal testament 
to you as a steadfast tribal leader 
being ready for battle while saving his family 
from the unspeakable horror
of unsanitary public humiliation

and as you do a quick visual tally 
with the keen eye of a 
War Time Supply Sargent
to make sure your supply levels 
are at the ready
you take solace in knowing 
that your tribe can rest easy
and shit
care free
until 2023.


Ken Owen,  Van Niddy Press
June 2020