Go ahead,
admit it:
every time you go
to the pantry
or hall closet
or check under the bathroom sink
or wherever it is that you keep it
you feel slightly embarrassed
by the ridiculous supply of
toilet paper
you have accumulated
over the last three months
when they told you
the world
as we knew it
was ending
and The Hive Mind declared
toilet paper
of all things
as the one commodity
that would determine our future happiness
in the new world.
But you quickly reconcile the guilt
as you survey your
doomsday stockpile
with the story that your supplies
are a personal testament
to you as a steadfast tribal leader
being ready for battle while saving his family
from the unspeakable horror
of unsanitary public humiliation
and as you do a quick visual tally
with the keen eye of a
Wartime Supply Sergeant
to make sure your supply levels
are at the ready
you take solace in knowing
that your tribe can rest easy
and shit
care free
until 2023.
Ken Owen, Van Niddy Press
June 2020
