Thursday, November 21, 2013

The Grandpa Button


You don't have to rock the baby anymore,
there is a machine that will do it for you.
It's a swing with multiple speed settings
and I must admit, it looks pretty comfy.

You don't have to sing to the baby anymore either,
there is a switch on the swing
to play modern renditions of insipid nursery rhyme music
that fall very short on musical merit for adults
by the fourth or fifth time through
while waiting for the baby to fall asleep,
but I guess it does the trick.

You don't have to make funny sounds and faces 
to entertain the baby anymore,
the swing has a button that will play jungle animal sounds
and spin a circular mobile with various shaped objects.
I wonder what a new baby thinks when she hears
the sound of monkeys and lions and elephants
that aren't in the room?
I suppose someone did plenty of research 
so they could say to their Boss:
"Babies love the sound of a roaring lion"
which, unless you’re a baby lion, doesn't make sense to me,
but if that person is the one who also recommended the music
then that might explain things.

And so, in this modern era,
just put the baby in her automated push button swing
and you're free to clean bottles or wash diapers 
or any of the other tasks new parents have to do 
along with everything else in their busy lives
that have been turned completely upside-down
since they brought home their new baby.

There is, however, 
no grandpa button on the automated swing
and I'm thankful for that,
so I can rock the baby in my arms
while making funny faces and weird animal sounds
as I carry her around the house and show her things to look at
and softly sing silly made-up songs to her
like only a grandpa can do.

No button required.

written during nap time, November 2013


Ken Owen   Van Niddy Press   November 2013

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